The biggest disappointments in our lives are often unfulfilled expectations. This is particularly expressed in our relationships and interactions with others. Adjusting your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, for yourself and others, and it will help you focus your attention on what’s really important.
It is time to:
1. Stop expecting people to agree with you
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live the life you dream of. Do not let the opinions of others distract you. You are not in this world to meet the expectations of others, nor should you feel that other people live to fulfill your expectations. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions, the less you will need the approval of anyone else.
Dare to be yourself and follow your intuition, no matter how scary or unusual it is. Do not compare yourself to others. Do not be discouraged by their progress or success.
Follow your path and remain true to your purpose. This does not mean that you won’t continue to learn and to explore, but let it happen because you want it.
An ultimate success means that you are living your life happily and the way you want it.
2. Stop expecting others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself
Strength lies in the spirit, not in the muscles. It lies in having faith and confidence in yourself and willingness to act upon it. Decide that you will never ask others for the love, respect and attention that you have for yourself.
Look at yourself in the mirror and say: “I love you, and from now on I will continue to act in this way.” It is important to be kind to others, but it is even more important to be kind to yourself. When you practice love and respect for yourself, you are giving yourself the opportunity to be happy. When YOU are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, a better YOU.
3. Stop expecting (and needing) others to like you
Some people can make you feel undesirable or unworthy, and others can make you feel invaluable. Do not forget how valuable you are. Spend time with the people that appreciate you.
No matter how good you are to people, there will always be at least one negative person who will criticize you. Smile, ignore them and move on.
The world we live in is trying to make you love everyone, and the hardest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself. As you are fighting, not everyone will love you.
Sometimes people will call you names because you are “different”. It is perfectly fine. Things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you because of who you are.
4. Stop expecting them to be who you want them to be
To love and respect others means to allow them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be in a certain way, you can begin to appreciate them.
Respect people for who they are, not for what you want them to be. We do not know each other as much as we think; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful. The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they really are.
5. Stop expecting people to know what you are thinking
People can not read minds. They’ll never know how you really feel if you do not tell them. Your boss? He does not know that you hope for a promotion if you do not tell him.
The cute guy that you are not talking to because you are too shy? Yes, he hasn’t noticed you yet because you’re hiding from him!
It is necessary to communicate with the others, regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.
6. Stop expecting them to suddenly change
If there is a specific behavior that someone you care about has, that you’re hoping it will disappear over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something about them, be honest and put all the cards on the table so that the person knows how you feel and you need them to do.
You can’t easily change people, and you shouldn’t even try. Either accept them for what they are or choose to live without them. It may sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and give them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in a wonderful way.
7. Stop expecting them to be “OK”
Be nicer than you need to be, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.
We are measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, rather than avoid them. Support, sharing and giving others are some of life’s greatest prizes. It happens, of course, if we let it, because we all share some similar dreams, needs and struggles.
Once we accept this, then the world will be a place where we can look someone in his eyes and say, “I’m lost and I’m struggling at the moment,” and they can nod and say, “Me too”, and that will be OK.
Not always people behave in the way that we want them to. Hope for the best, but expect the worst. And remember, your happiness will be directly proportional to your thoughts and your choice on the way you look at things. Even if a situation or relationship doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new.
originally published here
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